Wolf Bait (Perry and Jonas)

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Chapter

154

The ballroom area is used for what they call free time. I am leaning against the veranda near the cascades listening to the water roar. I like the way it sparkles against the light of the chandelier. "Your father did what was best for you," James's voice comes from behind me. I glance back at him as he comes over to join

1. me.

"I know he did,"

"Why are you here, little one?" he asks.

"I'm pretty sure I answered that one already," I step away from him.

"I'm not going to hurt you,"

"You wouldn't be able to even if you tried. Oh, wait. You already tried. Several times," I smirk at him. His eyes flash red before he turns his attention to the waterfall.

""You could have killed me,"

"And you had more than one opportunity to kill me,"

"I wanted Jonas to kill you,"

""He did. It was beautiful,"

"You're a very strange girl," he scoffs.

"Why did you tell him I was your mate?" I ask him. He grins.

"You've been in love before, yes?" he tilts his head in my direction. "It's a stupid fucking emotion. You both hate yourselves for wanting something so badly that it starts chipping away at who you really are. You'd do anything to be the one for her and it still isn't enough. Not for you and not for her.

"I wanted him to feel that. I wanted him to think that no matter what he did or said to you. It would never be enough to save you from him or me. I wanted him to see us and absolutely lose it the same way I did and then end your miserable existence in the worst way possible," "You're an idiot," I laugh.

"You really think that?" he smirks.

"Yeah, I do. All you did was bring us closer. So, thank you for that I guess,"

I push off the veranda and start heading back inside.

"What do you see in him?" he calls out to me. "He's an entitled asshole with a mommy complex,"

"He's an entitled asshole," I agree. "But there's more depth to him. I assure you that it has nothing to do with your mother or father. He doesn't have stupid insecurities like us. He trusted your mom, but that's the extent of it,"

"I don't have insecurities,"

"You wouldn't be so fucking mad at the world because he's your parents' favorite," I laugh. His eyes turn pitch black. "You feel that, that's called jealousy," I shake my head. "You really are a fucking idiot. You should think about how he's keeping you alive knowing damn well that he should have killed you. You should be in that glass box. Not living it up in this weird reformation spa. But here you are. All entitled to your rage and shit,"

III

"You think you know him," he scoffs.

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"I honestly don't. I know he's a good King and that's what I see. That's what I want. A good King means a stable house. A stable house means we can work through all the other shit together. Even the shit we disagree on. But you wouldn't understand that. You only ever think about yourself and what you want. It's why your efforts go unnoticed. You're not trying to help. You're the fucking problem,"

"You don't know anything about me," he growls.

"Right, because I'm not in the same spa with you for the same exact reasons," I roll my eyes. "You're not complicated, James. You should know you're a suburban statistic. The fact that we're on the same boat should tell you that. None of the bad shit that has happened to you is because of your brother.

"You should be more understanding. He was groomed to be something he probably never wanted to be. He didn't have choices the way you did. He did what a good son does in his position. He became the man your father needed him to be. Just as you did. The difference between you and him is that he didn't let what your father taught him break him.

"You broke him. You betrayed him. Not when you accidentally married his mate, but when you fucked her while they were mated. You killed her, your father, and your daughter. And while you're sitting here drinking smoothies and talking about how your asshole brother ruined your life. He's up there blaming himself for all the bad shit that landed making his father proud. Still being a fucking King. I don't feel sorry for you. I'm actually embarrassed

1. p. Still

1g,"

The darkness in his eyes fades and I turn away not wanting to deal with him anymore. I said what I had to and now he knows my opinion of him. I pause at the doorway and look over at his mother. She doesn't say anything and for once I have nothing to say to her either. "I'd like you to refrain from interacting with the former Queen and her son," Dr. Salazar says when he comes into my room to give me the medication.

"Sure. Maybe ask them to stay away from me as well," I agree and take the pills. He looks over all of my research.

"You're a very diligent researcher,"

"I'm not researching. I'm learning. I need all of this information I brush him off.

"Why?"

"Lycan Queen, remember?"

"Do you want to be the Lycan Queen?"

"I don't have a choice,"

"But if you did, would you still remain on this path?"

His question makes me angry. Not just at him but at myself because I've been living in the what-ifs for the last five years and

it literally drove me feral. I turn around in my seat to see that he's actually expecting me to answer.

"There is no but if. I am the Lycan Queen. I'd like to be left alone now," I growl at him.

"Of course," he smiles. "Beatris is just outside your door if you need anything, Your Majesty,"

I turn back to my notes and then push them away because I suddenly feel tired again. I must admit that I have been feeling a little more like myself this past week. I'd been denying that there was something wrong with me all this time.

I'm angry at myself for taking so long to get here, I'm angry that it took losing my wolf to accept that I'd been the problem. all along. I'm angry that the King isn't mad at me for what I did to him. I'm just really fucking mad at everything. Even this stupid book that's taught me to say bad words in the Lycan language.

DOriginal content from NôvelDrama.Org.

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I've always been good at being angry. It's all I ever really had growing up. I lay on the floor between my study desk and the bed and start counting down sit-ups from fifty. Even as tired as I feel, the anger always gets the best of me and my only outlet has always been running around the city. Exercising. Exhausting myself before workouts with the other pups so I wouldn't be able to take them.

What would my father say if he were alive? Would he be upset with me for taking this path or would he be proud? I stop turn onto my belly laughing at myself. I haven't spared the old man a single thought for years.

and

All I've been thinking about lately is him. How he taught me to survive. How even in my darkest moments it's his lessons that have gotten me out of my head. I'd been blaming death for not taking me but in all honesty. I'm just really fucking good at surviving because of

him.

I lay on my belly after a set of pushups and stare at the darkness under the bed. I hate empty spaces. It's not the fact that they're small or dark. It's because there's nothing around.

Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to protect myself from. It's just empty and it scares me because that's what I've been running from my entire life. The emptiness that comes with being a Nelson.

I remove my top and stare down at the King's mating marks on my shoulder. I trace them one by one and I strangely find

I under the that I miss him as much as I miss my crispy. I rub my shoulder against my cheek and take a deep breat bed and try to stay as calm as I can.

Even in this darkness. Even if there was nothing around. I guess inside of me, it's not as empty as I thought. I want to stop taking the things that fill the void for granted. There has to be more than this ache that never goes away. I want to get there so that the thoughts of hurting myself and those around me stop. There has to be something more because making up for the things I've done sounds like a first st