Where We Belong

Chapter 136

I never expected to find my way back here especially after the circumstances last time. The cabin was secluded, no one would have the slightest idea that I would come here. I needed time to think and be on my own and this was the place to do it.

Parking up I made sure I took my phone with me. Lifting the plant pot by the door I took the spare key and opened the door. It wasn't paradise but it was perfect and it was safe. Locking the door I took a deep breath before heading to the kitchen and grabbing a beer. Taking the blanket off the couch I wrapped it around my shoulders. Taking a seat on the porch bench that over looked the lake I stared out into nothing. I had started to do the one thing I promised I wouldn't. I was shutting him out, I was shutting everyone out.

How do I get past it when I can't even say out loud what happened? I can't admit what they had done. I no longer felt like me. A part of me felt like it had been ripped away. I could feel myself fading away, that bubbly, sweet girl that I used to be no longer here.

I was broken inside.

Bringing the beer bottle to my lips I took a sip and turned on my phone. It had been a few hours since I spoke with him and I knew he'd be going out of his mind.

Had he told my dad without me?

Text after text came through. All from Blaze and a few from Jared. I love him I've never loved anyone but him but I didn't know if after all of this I could be with him. I didn't know if I could ever let him touch me again intimately. The thought of being touched again made me sick.

My phone started vibrating in my hand but the name flashing across my screen made my stomach drop. My dad was calling and I didn't want to

answer.

Sliding my finger across the screen I put it on loud speaker afraid of what he was going to say. I could already feel the tears welling in my eyes. "Ava darling you there?"

Instantly fat tears rolled down my cheeks and I tried desperately not to cry out loud.

"Ava? Please talk to me darling. Please tell me you're safe?"

Franko Mendez doesn't get upset, he doesn't cry but I knew my dad was crying on the other end of the phone.

"I'm safe" I whispered rubbing my cheeks with the sleeve of my jumper. " I'm okay". I wasn't okay I was far from okay.

"You're not though are you sweetheart? I'm your dad Ava I know you're not okay. Please tell me where you are, let me come get you".

"I-I can't" I stuttered "I need time dad please don't make me come back there".

I could here my mom's sobs in the background, they knew what had happened. Maybe not the full story but they knew.

"Whatever you need Ava but at least let me come see you. I won't force you to come back I just need to see my girl". He cried.

A sob escaped past my lips at the thought of my parents crying. My mom yes but my dad, my dad was the toughest, meanest guy I knew. Some said he didn't have a heart, that he didn't have feelings.

"I need time" I ended the call and turned my phone off.

I burst into tears. I had never been this emotional. All I wanted to do was cry.

I was physically and emotionally drained. After taking a shower and changing into a pair of pjs that I had left there I hunted for some painkillers. My head was bursting, my body hurt and I was exhausted. Chasing them down with some water I flicked the kettle on knowing I'd have to settle for black coffee.

Once settled on the couch with my coffee and blanket wrapped around my shoulders I tried my best not to think about everything that had happened. I badly wanted to sleep but resisted because of the nightmares that came when I did. Nobody knew where I was, I knew I was safe here but I also knew I couldn't hide away forever.

Finally turning my phone back on I looked through the messages I had received. Deep down I knew I had to tell him where I was. Pushing him away wasn't going to fix anything I needed to trust that he loved me enough to help me through this. To stand with me even when all I wanted was to crumble. I wasn't quite ready to leave this place just yet but I at least had to let him know I was safe. Opening up a new message I stared at the blank screen for god knows how long.

I'm safe and please don't be angry with me. Ax

After hitting the send button I waited anxiously for him to reply. It would surprise me if he wasn't pissed off. Blaze was hot headed, didn't know how to control his temper and me running out on him would probably have tipped him over the edge. Frowning I checked the message I had sent again just to see if it had sent. It wasn't like Blaze not to reply. Bringing up another blanket message I sent this one to Jared.

Blaze with you?

First of all where the fuck are you?

When I said Jared was like my big brother I wasn't lying. Sighing I replied back and that's how it went for the next 10 minutes.

I'm safe! now is Blaze with you?

Blind drunk and threatening to put people to ground.. you need to come get your man before he kills someone.

Sober him up..

He's already shot one of the new prospects in the leg!!

Was he for real?

Pulling up to the clubhouse I parked in the lot this time instead of outside. Flashbacks hit me like a train, resting my head on the steering wheel I took a deep breath, counted to five and headed inside.

If he was drunk I had to be on top of my game to deal with him. I also had to apologize to the new guy if he really had shot him.

Walking into the main bar I frowned

when I noticed no one was around. What the hell was going on? And

why would Jared set me up like that? Sighing I about turned ready to toe

leave when I heard the door

where they have church open and close with a bang. Someone was defiantly here but I couldn't help the bad feeling that crept into my stomach.

I had my purse so I had my gun. Sliding my hand inside I clasped my hand around the 9mm that my dad gave me to practice with. Never did find the time to give him it back may not be good with handling a gun but I'll be damned if I'll ever let

anyone hurt me again. Hearing another bang I pulled the gun out my

purse falling to the ground.

"Don't move" I yelled pointing the gun at his head. "Blaze?" I yelled "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?".

"You wouldn't tell me where you were" He shrugged. I didn't lower my gun nor did I lower my gaze. "Lower the gun sweetheart".

I was going to kill Jared with my bare hands. He tricked me into coming home when I wasn't ready.

"Seriously lower the gun. I know you're aim is shit hot". Walking towards me he took the gun from my hands shoving it into the back of his jeans. "You had me worried darling". As he went to grab me by the waist I pulled back.

"I told you I was safe" I know he was only doing what he thought was best for me but he and everyone else needed to realise I needed time.

"So I'm not allowed to hold you anymore?" He frowned "Can't blame me for being worried Ava". Walking behind the bar he grabbed a bottle of Jack.

"I know-I don't I just".... Pacing the bar floor I ran my hands through my hair "I feel like I can't breathe. I don't know how to deal with it".

"So pushing me away is helping you deal with it?" Watching him he took the shot of whiskey drinking it in one gulp.

"That's not fair" I argued

"I know baby I'm sorry" He sighed

pouring more of the brown liquor into the glass knew this was hard on him. "I hate seeing you like this Ava it's damn near killing me. If you need space then I'll give you it but don't think for one second that 'm giving up on you, giving up on us". Bringing the glass to his lips he finished what was in it. "Heck if you want to take a break I'll give you it. Fuck it's the last thing I want and the thought of not seeing you everyday will drive me insane but if you need it then we can do it".

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I didn't want to take a break I needed him more than ever but I was stupidly pushing him away and for what reason? I needed him and my family

around me.

"No" I whispered watching as he continued to pour himself another drink.

"No what darling? What's going through that pretty little head of yours?" He downed the liquor and walked out behind the bar "You need to help me here babe. Help me understand. Tell me what to do" He was so close our noses touched "Tell me how I can make it better" He whispered.