Through the Screen

Chapter 103

the seven am sun greets abel 's puffy cheeks and heavy dark circles in the softest way possible, the

dim light dotting up against his freckles and weaving through his wavy hair, igniting a few brown strands

into a pale golden colour. he sighs, wrapping his fingers firmly around the cup of tea and staring into

the unpopulated streets outside.

the thin layer of fog curls his hair further, and chills the tip of his nose, but the weather is one of the last

things abel cares about as he sips on the warm liquid. he's been sitting out on this balcony for long

enough to see the sky change colours, and next to him, the glass of whisky he had spontaneously

made is kept untouched. the image of noah breaking down and asking him to leave is a little less harsh

behind his eyes now, noah's words a little less loud.

he is aware he has made a mistake, god knows he would do anything to take it back, but he is just so

tired of trying to get noah back. every time he convinces himself to give noah some time to recover, he

finds himself right at noah's feet, asking for forgiveness, crying, sobbing, breaking himself almost as

much as noah at each refusal. he needs to calm down, he needs to understand that noah needs time

to heal from this but somehow, he knows that even after this, even after the millionth time of attempting

to explain himself, he will land right back where he was a few hours ago—begging, crying and hurting

noah like he always does.

before he can proceed degrading himself and the terrible choices he makes, two small hands cover his

eyelids and the scented candle that has somehow managed to weave it's fragrance through adrian's

clothes makes a gentle comfort rise at the base of his heart.

"guess who?" he already knew it was adrian, but the effort adrian put this early in the morning to

deepen his voice made abel giggle nonetheless. Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

"these wrinkly hands could only belong to my son," he speaks sarcastically, the tone of his voice

sounded happy for someone who has spent the entire night attempting to pick up the pieces of his

heart and arrange them into a better pile.

"merry christmas," adrian doesn't respond with a smart comment because he knows just how much

effort it would take from his father to actually hold a conversation with him at this time, he can almost

feel the weight of the purple bags ruining his father's face. he just wraps his arms around his shoulders

from behind and sinks his chin on top of abel 's head.

"merry christmas darling," abel just grips adrian's arms that are resting around his shoulders and gives

them an assuring squeeze, his eyes wandering over to the heavily clouded sky.

a year ago at this time he would be pulling noah impossibly close to himself under their duvet and

pressing multiple kisses to his pale cheeks, watching as the colour rose on them almost immediately.

noah would hug him and mutter something irrelevant about how he hates mornings and then he would

kiss him and wish him a merry christmas. an hour later he would watch fondly as noah and adrian

made an absolute mess of the entire kitchen while preparing the world's worst cookies ever, and then

eating them with a silent disgust on their features, neither of them admitting how bad they were at

baking. and then they would cuddle up on the couch and watch every disney movie possible and order

some food because neither of them could be bothered to get up and do something other than just being

lazy.

when did christmas mornings become so despondent?

"care to share?" adrian moved his arms from around abel 's shoulders and dragged another chair to sit

beside him, the cool air marking his cheeks and nose with a harsh pink.

"i'm really sorry you have to watch us like this," abel has been thinking a lot as to how adrian would feel

if he and noah actually parted ways. he can't bring himself to imagine how brutally their divorce could

affect adrian and his outlook on life. he doesn't want adrian to turn into someone like himself when he

was younger, he doesn't want adrian to have trust issues and lose belief in relationships and love. he

doesn't want the warmth of his cheeks to develop into bags under his eyes and he doesn't want to even

think about adrian crying as he realises how hopeless and bleak the reality of this world is. "you don't

deserve this at all adrian, i shouldn't be ruining our family like this, i am so sorry, i am so—"

"no, it's okay, everyone fights, everyone has their bad days," adrian tries to meddle away the helpless

tone in his father's voice but somewhere in him he knows that everything is too far gone to be saved.

"not like this," abel mumbles. "not like us,"

abel had always wanted to have kids, to treat them like he wasn't treated. he wanted to give them

everything he possibly could, he wanted to be supportive and to let them know that no matter what

happens he will always have their back, that he will be the last person to desert them in a time where

they needed help. being a good father was one of his main goals in life, the day he and noah adopted

adrian was probably the best day of his life.

he can't ruin this, he can't let adrian suffer.

"all i have wished for this christmas,” adrian interrupts his thoughts and when abel looks over at him, he

is pulling his sleeves over his hands and staring into his lap. “ is for you two to be okay, for you two to

be like you were the first time i saw you,"