Guilty heart
Kaden’s POV
The faint drops of rain hitting my window sill was enough to pry me awake from my drowsiness, as sleep seemed to have eluded me tonight. The lights were turned off, yet I could make out even the tiniest details in my study. The bookshelf stood like its own force towering above every other piece of furniture in the study, and the pile on the desk appeared like its own monstrousity. I rose my head from my makeshift pillow, staring off at the window that was draped with thin white curtains. The soft glow of the moon would have made it more beautiful. Perhaps as beautiful as the first night spent in Amaya’s arms.
The thought of that woman gave me the ick, but what disturbed me more was Larissa’s tear filled expression. It pissed me to no end when my wolf had suddenly gone quiet after locking her up to solitude. She deserved it, everything she was getting. The heavens needed me to met out a befitting punishment for such a cheat, so why wouldn’t my wolf simply comply with me?
If that wasn’t enough, she took my son out in the rain. Although for some reason, it made me feel at peace to see him sleep so soundly. But she was treading on dangerous ground and I won’t let her get away with it. I should have killed her when I had the chance. Or let her die out in the woods so the hyenas could feed on her body.
I let out a tired yawn, running a hand through my hair. I couldn’t even focus on the work that spilled over. Yawning again, I pushed the chair backwards and rose to my feet. I stared at my work table for a few seconds before ultimately deciding to drag myself to my room, shutting the door after me.
I continued to drag my feet up the stairs until I’d reached my room, twisting the door knob quickly and plopping onto the bed without thinking twice. But the sounds of strangled whispers forced me awake again.
“What the hell?” I croaked out in frustration. The room was still its dark entity, but the whispers were piercing. I propped myself up to a sitting position immediately and rubbed at my eyes. We couldn’t be under attack, my men were more than capable of wrecking havoc as well.
My senses were instantly awoken when I recognized the sound. It was faint, but I could pick it up even through my sound proof walls. It wasn’t the sound of whispers like I had thought. It was the sound of muffled crying, coming from Declan’s room.
“Declan?” I questioned, marvelling at my own idiocy. Wait, Declan! I shot off the bed immediately and raced to the door, slamming it unintentionally behind me. I rushed to his room, throwing the door open to see him squirming on his bed. The muffled cries had grown louder, confirming my fears. My steps had slowed down significantly at the sight of him in his brightly lit room as I approached his bed.
Leaning down ever so slightly, I ran my fingers through his fluffy hair. His eyes were shut firmly, yet there were streams of tears flowing from them. Heavy beads of sweat had formed on his forehead, and his small lips were muttering incoherent words. He looked terrified in his sleep, even with me rubbing soothing circles into his hair.
“Declan.” I tapped him gently, trying to wake him up. Perhaps it was a bad dream, it wasn’t the first time he was doing this. I still had no idea how to handle it. If I could however, I wanted to make my way into whatever dreams he had and murder those bastards. “Son, I’m here. Nobody’s going to hurt you.”
“Mommy.” He finally spoke up, halting my movements. He said those words again, curling up away from my hold.
Taken aback by his sudden call, I sat down by the edge of his bed and pulled him closer, trying to pat him awake. I watched him flinch and finally open his eyes, only to yell harshly in call for his mother.
Well I’ll be damned. He continued to squirm and call loudly, and no matter how much I tried to restrain his crying, he wouldn’t stop. His hysteria was plunging me into deep confusion. There was no way his mother would be here, what else did he want me to do?
The door flew open almost immediately to reveal Gwendoline half sprinting from wherever it is she was coming from. She stood at the door for a split second before jogging to where I sat with Declan in my arms. She seemed hesitant at first to pick him up, and it was starting to irritate me.
“I believe you can see it’s an emergency.” I snapped at her and she nodded quickly, reaching out to take him away and patting at his back gently. She seemed to be muttering sweet nothings in his ears, but he only screamed again before his cries reduced to muffles.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“I can’t say for sure.” She started, rocking him back and forth. His crying persisted nonetheless. “But some nights, he’s like this and nothing can console him.”
“You want me to watch my son cry all night? Was that what I hired servants for?” I forced my voice to a harsh whisper. What did she mean my that? I cocked a brow, now rising to my feet. She looked away, I could see her lips quiver in what I assumed was fear.
“No, my Lord. But I do know something that might work.”
“Then speak up.”
“I suggest you bring Larissa here. She might know what to do.”
“Perhaps you’d like to join her there.” I growled angrily at the mention of her name, my nostrils slightly flaring. She whipped up her head in surprise, shaking it frantically with one hand while the other supported Declan’s weight.
“No! No, my Lord.” She pointed to him, her voice laced with fear. “Your son has grown familiar with her, and I’m certain that she can control his crying.”
“You better find a solution yourself.” I spat back. I would never entertain such humiliation. Bringing a woman I’d locked up to take care of my son? The height of mockery!
“Please, Alpha.” She pleaded again. Her eyes had turned into closed crescents as she continued rocking him in her arms. “Please. Larissa is the only one that can help him calm down now.”
Listen to her, Kaden. It’s no use being so stubborn.
While I wanted one thing, my wolf wanted another. Why did my son have to be on the line? I was more than reluctant to let her out. But on the other hand, it would break me if he cried like this till dawn.
“Very well then. Fetch her from the cell at the basement.”
Larissa’s POV
My dress had dried on my skin and had creased so terribly that it would look like mismatched chicken feathers. I sat on the cold ground with my knees to my chest, using them as a headrest. Just like the alpha wanted, the room was the darkest in the mansion, and I’d never felt so alone or dejected in my life. Not even when I was sold. I sniffled softly, wiping away yet another streak of tears from my face.
What did I do so wrong to be locked up? The fact that I wanted an iota of happiness in my misery of a life? I didn’t even understand why the Alpha hated me so much. So much that he was willing to lock me away from the child that he’d put me in charge of. His hate towards me was unfounded and made no sense.
I felt my chest tighten as I choked out more tears. How much different was he from Stefan? I didn’t want to ever compare my second chance mate to that beastly he-wolf, but I couldn’t help it. I already accepted that Alpha Kaden was never going to have anything to do with me, but what was this? How much more hell did I have to go through for him to leave me alone? Even my wolf had gone silent. My heart ached at everything. I simply wanted to bury my head in the wall and cry myself to sleep.
But the sounds of metal clanking made me rouse up from my thoughts. I opened my eyes as wide as I could, taking in all the light available that was next to nothing. But there was a sudden flash of light and I flipped my eyes shut at the intensity. Were they here to finally kill me?
“Larissa. Larissa.” The voice called softly and I opened my eyes very slowly. I could make out the silhouette of dark hair on a stout body, it was definitely a woman.
“Who’s there?” I called back weakly, still blinking at the brightness. The figure was approaching me quickly and I drew back in fear. If it was death, they weren’t going to get rid of me that easily.
“Larissa, it’s me. It’s Gwen.”
“Gwen?” I called again, looking past the light until she rose the source of light to her face. Only then did I realize that it was a flashlight.
She was smiling at me, one that held an apology behind it. “Yes, it’s me. I’m so sorry you were locked up.”
I let out a dry, bitter laugh. It didn’t sound like me at all. I ran one hand through my now matted ponytail, watching her expression shift into one of concern.
“What’s there to be sorry for? I don’t think he wants anything to do with me or his son.”
“On the contrary, you’re wrong.” She countered in defence, leaning against the wall with one shoulder and I cocked a brow.
“What do you mean?”
I wanted to glare at my wolf for spiking up immediately. She didn’t seem to understand that there was nothing that would ever happen between me and that arrogant alpha.
“He’s calling for you.”
“And why should I go with you? So he can humiliate me and call me names again?”
“Because defying his orders is like begging for death.”
“Then maybe I want to beg for death.”
“Larissa.” Gwen groaned in frustration, moving quickly to crouch beside my sitting form on the ground. “He really needs your attention.”
“I’m not going. You can tell him that.” I finished, wiping some tears that had escaped from my eyes. I didn’t like that she was looking at me with pity. I’d seen so many of those eyes that my tolerance was beginning to wear thin. But I felt my throat run dry at her next words.
“It’s about Declan. He’s ill.”
I blinked a few times, trying to process her words. The toddler was my most important obligation, how had he managed to fall sick? My eyes darted around at the thought. I could feel Gwen’s hands rest on my shoulders, shaking them gently.
“So you have to come with me.”
I didn’t want to go, but I had no choice now. Nodding hesitantly, I rose to my feet and motioned for her to lead. I could faintly see a smile plastered on her lips as she stood up as well, leading us out of the dark room. The way out was dark and unfamiliar, except for the bright flashlight in Gwen’s hands. She led me through the back exit until we were standing in the very living room that the alpha had sent orders to lock me up.
We walked up the stairs till I was now standing in front of Declan’s room, whose door was wide open. Unlike the dark cell, his room were filled with pastel lights.C0pyright © 2024 Nôv)(elDrama.Org.
Alpha Kaden was looking at me with blank eyes. Standing at one corner of the room, his arms were folded and he kept staring at me, making me so I comfortable that I wanted to jump out of my skin. I gulped harshly at the sight, slowly coming to the consciousness of the crying toddler on his bed.
I mustered a bow at him before walking briskly to the foot of his son’s bed. Declan was frowning harshly, whimpering and curling towards the windows. I let out a sigh watching him like that. I reached out to his forehead, and he turned around immediately to grab my finger.
“Mommy.” He whispered again, catching me off guard. He looked terrified even, and I began rubbing circles in his forehead. Even his skin against my palms did not feel right. Guilty, I reached down to kiss his forehead and I felt him relax slowly. I was certain that Alpha Kaden was boring holes through my spine, but I could care less. Declan was my top priority now, not his bitchy ass.
I turned around with the blankest expression I could muster, seeing him with one raised brow and a slight frown.
“Well? What’s wrong with him?”
“He has a slight fever. But it’s okay. I’m going to take care of him.”
All I could hear at that point was a voice at the back of my head screaming that it was my fault.