Chapter 37: Looking for my heart's home
The following day, we both moved slower than usual. I because despite the fact that the beast hadn't intentionally hurt me, it had still been rough in its pace. The morning had been one for laziness and comfort. His arms had been around my waist and his head was tucked between my shoulder and my chin as the curve of his back followed mine. The weight of him alone had been the comfort I needed once the blurry memories of tonight's nightmare came back to me, but somehow in his sleep he must have sensed my building anxiety because his grip had tightened and his lips had brushed over my shoulders like a soft kiss. The smile that grew on my face after that was uncontainable. Hours later and I had been left alone to enjoy the sun while Riven was lurking somewhere in the dark woods. The dagger had gone with him and he had suggested that I'd come with him so that I knew where it was buried but not only did I not feel the necessity in knowing that, I also wanted to stay away from the woods for today, just to avoid negative reactions. I thought back to the dream a lot, and picked it apart until I could understand it. And despite what my subconscious tried to convince me, I knew that it wasn't the end that would happen if I didn't kill Riven. They were already dead, and I was a griever like everyone else, but taking another life will not bring them back. And the revenge that had once been my only goal, was a narrow-minded thought by a girl unprepared to see the truth.
So I walked around in the sun, unbothered by the damp grass under my bare feet or the sound of buzzing bees just a bit further away, waiting for the next step of the day. Or just waiting. Because it feels like I've always been moving forward, so maybe it was time for me to take a deep breath and stop running. I liked the thought of that. I liked the peacefulness it offered.
A hand grabbed mine and I yelped in surprise as I spun around. I had expected white untamed hair and deep green eyes but was instead greeted by something else. I was moments away from letting out a horrified scream as a hand clasped over my mouth, taking away any ability to make a sound and forcing me to just stare at the person in front of me.
Auburn hair and blue eyes. Nathan.
My eyes were wide and I had to force myself to blink several times just to make sure that it wasn't a hallucination. And after what felt like forever, I realised that he was still there. A little rougher looking than usual with untamed hair and clothes lose and dirty but it was still his blue eyes and the crinkle around his eyes as he smiled.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.
"Nathan..." I whispered, and it was barely audible due to his hands.
Something in him relaxed because he pulled his hand away and grabbed my face to pull me into a kiss instead. His lips were chapped and the pressure a little rough, but I had learnt how he kissed the many stolen moments we had taken together and was more than relieved to realise that I hadn't forgotten the familiarity of him.
When he pulled away, we both gasped for air. But since he seemed unwilling to let me go any further than inches between us our breaths mingled and he rested his forehead on mine. Seeing him was like entering another universe. I hadn't expected to see him again, not in this lifetime and definitely not here. During my stay, I had purposely pushed away so much of him because otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to move on with my life. Nathan had been the one person I couldn't let go of unless I forced myself to forget. But now that he was here, right in front of me, I couldn't understand how I'd even managed to forget someone so important, whether by will or not.
"I knew that I would be able to see you again," Nathan said in the space between us. "I explored the woods for weeks and weeks without finding anything, I only returned when the rations got critically low but even then a part of me told me that you were alive, and that I could find you if only you tried."
"You found me," I responded and placed my hands on each side of his head. "You found me, Nathan. I can't believe you're here."
An amused chuckle escaped from his throat. "I guess watching you learn how to track had some uses after all. It took a while, but it led me here."
He placed a short kiss on my lips again before taking a step back.
"Come on," Nathan held out his hand. "Let's go home. I have a rope over there I used to climb down and we should take the same way up. After all, we have a wedding to attend."
It wasn't until then reality hit me, and I realised that I had a decision to make. My previous life was something I'd wished for since I came here, but I had accepted that it would forever remain an unanswered wish, a distant dream. But now, with the opportunity in front of me, I had no clue what to do. Riven was still in the woods, hiding the dagger that should have been my answer a month ago. Meanwhile, Nathan was in front of me, unaware of the betrayal I was guilty of as he offered me a way home. Nausea hit me like a raging storm, and I involuntarily took a step back.
Nathan furrowed his brows. "Liliana?"
Looking back at Nathan, I realised that while he'd spent two months searching for me, I had spent this past month fucking another. It had been to keep them safe, to keep him safe, but looking at it now, I knew that it wasn't the case anymore. And I knew that my new excuse wasn't as justifiable.
Nathan's hand was still out, and he looked between me and the rope that was supposed to take us home. But while my eyes remained on him, my mind wandered to the white-haired boy on the other side of the glade. I wondered if we knew that we had company. I wondered if Riven were listening to our conversation as we spoke.
"Liliana," He said again, and I realised that this was the last time I would ever have him looking at me so softly.
"I can't," It physically hurt to utter the words.
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Nathan's face got stern as he started looking around us, searching for something in the place that had held me captive for two months.
"Whoever's keeping you here can go fuck themself," Nathan said as he took a step closer to me. "I will fight whoever they are."
His response made the entire thing even worse.
"No," I forced out. "You don't understand. I can't leave."
"Liliana, unless you are about to say that you have some curse over you that's keeping you here then I suggest we should go," He grabbed my hand and looked around a little frantically. "I mean, I was serious about fighting whoever is trying to keep you here, but if we can avoid it that would be lovely."
My legs locked themselves when Nathan started pulling my arm and the look he gave me was in disbelief.
"Nathan I..."
Then there was a gunshot.