Surrender Your Sensations

“I want this to be exclusive. I know what we have is only for sex. But,” I stared at him, “I can’t just trust your words. Having multiple sex partners is still a risk factor to have STDs and such.”

Here we were, both naked under the sheets, cuddling. His right arm was under my head, his other arm wrapped around my waist and his legs trapped both of my legs. Really, he’s a cuddler and I was not complaining.

The heat coming from his body was somehow comforting me… and very intimate.

“Also, are you really single? I mean, no official girlfriend?” I faced him. He was quick to give me a kiss on my cheek and then on my shoulder before nodding at me. “So, the woman last Tuesday- remember? You said it was urgent. She’s not your girl?”

“Nope. We’re just… hooking up.”

I was stunned before giving him an appalled look. “Like us?”

His embrace around me tightened before he buried his face on the crook of my neck. “No, sweetie. What we have is different. I’m not exactly sure to what extent what we have is different but I don’t mind being exclusive with you. It’s just different.” Then he sucked my earlobe, teasing it with his lips and tongue.

“Rupert! Can we please talk properly first?” I did not hide the sarcasm in my voice when his hand started caressing my navel. His fingers were slowly reaching for the sensitive flesh in between my thighs.

He chuckled before saying, “Aye Aye, sweetie!” He even gave me a salute and wide boyish grin of his.

I shook my head. “So, you don’t really mind being exclusive with me? That means no other girl warming up your bed as long as you’re doing me. No girlfriends too. That will be the same for me too.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” I smiled broadly. “You’re not going to complain?”

“Nope. I told you, I don’t mind. Just be with me too, I would love to be exclusive with you.” He even winked and playfully licked my shoulder.

“Rupert! I’m tired,” I groaned.

It took a couple of minutes when silence took over the room. It was a serene and comforting kind of silence. We just hugged – hearing each other’s breathing, feeling the warmth of each other’s naked bodies, and taking advantage of the comfort our presence provided to each other.

That silence was only disturbed by a sudden question that popped up from my head. “So, we’re at the same university. What’s your course?” I laid flatly on my back beside him. His arms loosened a little to allow my change in position but afterwards, he cuddled me again. I comfortably leaned my head on his chest. His heart was beating normally- calmly.

“I’m taking my pre-med. BS Biology. In my senior year.”

I looked up at him with amazement. “Woah. You didn’t even tell me you were a soon-to-be doctor rockstar,” I teased him and chuckled.

I was expecting him to respond with a witty comeback but instead, his eyes suddenly became hollow. It’s pretty obvious. He instantly paced out. Did I say something wrong?

“Rupert? Hey? Are you okay?”

It took a couple of seconds before he got out of that trance. He hesitated to smile at me before gasping for breath. “Sorry. It’s been awhile since someone called me that- doctor and rockstar.” His eyes showed emotions now, pain and sadness.

“Was it Ava? Was she the first one who called you that?”

With hesitation, he just nodded before kissing my forehead. I felt him caressing my hair, avoiding my eyes. Talking about Ava was still a hard thing for him to do. I couldn’t imagine the pain he felt because of her death. It looked like the wound he left in Rupert’s heart was huge.

“But you have a cool thing going on in your life. How could someone dream of becoming a doctor and a rockstar at the same time? Seriously, how is it like to live as God’s favorite?” I said, trying to divert the topic. That worked and he met my gaze again.

The sadness and pain in his eyes were gone. He was looking at me with that playful glint in his eyes again. “God’s favorite?”

“Yup. Handsome, talented and smart. Looks like you’re blessed too.”

He laughed out loud before pinching the bridge of my nose. “I was more blessed when I met you.”

I smirked and then pinched the tip of his nose too. “Aren’t your lines too smooth? You simply know how to get inside a woman’s pants..”

“Am I?”ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

We laughed together, like fools. We were being crazy in front of each other without having to worry about being ourselves. I’m glad I could be like this in front of him.

“The profession you’re aiming to do is really cool. I’m impressed. What kind of doctor do you want to be? I hope it’s related to cancer so that when my illness comes back, you’ll be my doctor.”

It was supposed to be a joke but he didn’t laugh. Instead, he looked at me seriously and touched one of my cheeks. “Do you still drink meds? Do you have any maintenance or diet to follow?”

I was stunned by the concern I saw in his eyes. I felt my heart beating like drums against my chest. I didn’t expect such concern from someone I just met. But that warmed my heart.

“Yup. Still got meds and strict routines to be followed. I’m still not completely considered cleared.” I got up slightly to reach my phone on his bedside table.

I showed him my planner and notes in my phone, where my diet and schedules were taken down. I also showed him my alarms and some important reminders. “I need to always remember and follow all of this. I mean, my doctor said, if I want to survive five years without my cancer coming back, I have to do all of these. And it includes not staying up. Late.” I grinned at him, knowingly after seeing the time on my phone. It was already past midnight.

He scratched his head and tried to smile. “Fine. No staying up late for you,” he teased before nodding.

I was even more shocked when he snatched my phone from me after getting his phone too. Then we changed positions. He placed my left arm under his neck before he slid his body a little bit lower from me until he could finally lean his head on my chest while he was holding our phones in both of his hands. He was doing something.

I peeked at it. “What are you doing?”

“I am sending all your notes and reminders to my phone. Then, I will also mimic your alarms and of course your check-ups scheds.” I was stunned by what he was doing. “Oh, you have a check-up next week. Will you allow me to come with you in this?” He even looked up at me before kissing my chin. Then, he returned his attention to the phones in his hands.

“W-Why? I mean, why are you doing this?” I asked, while combing his messy hair with my fingers.

“We are always going to be together from now on because of our exclusive sex agreement,” he grinned, “so, I’ll make sure to take care of you.”

“What? Why?”

I was not really sure why I was asking him and making everything trivial. But unconsciously, my mind was wanting to hear something from him.

“Because we’re friends,” he answered, nonchalantly.

I was stunned before feeling a strange pain in my chest. Yeah. Exactly. We’re friends.

But it was not the answer I was hoping to hear. Was there anything that sounds more intimate than just being friends? There was no way we were just being friends with each other after fucking. However, I am not really sure what to call what we have… aside from being friends.