Repaying the Mafia’s Dept

Massimo

I step out onto the terrace, gaze up at the stars as memories of last night come back to me.

It was the twinkle in Emelia’s eyes and the way she looked at me the whole night that I’ll always remember.

I see you…

That’s what she said to me. I knew what she meant. She could see inside me, past the wall I built, see deep down to the real me.

Just like at the ball, I dropped my guard. At the ball, when I first saw her, she was so striking I couldn’t keep that wall up. The same thing happened last night. I allowed her in.

But I ruined it. I squashed the connection like a bug. Crushed it before it could take full bloom, suffocated the blossom of the feelings people share after they do what we did.

She trusted me with her body last night when she allowed me to tie her up. What she didn’t realize was that she trusted me with more than that. She trusted me with trust. The element of trust. People don’t think of it as a concept that’s as important as love, friendship, compassion. It’s the same.

We had sex twice before morning, when she woke in the early hours. It felt good to have her in my bed finally, but there was something different about her.

Did she heed my warning? Don’t fall for me.

I mustn’t fall for her either. It wouldn’t be hard to. I’m already on the edge.

There are, however, so many reasons why I can’t love her. So many reasons why I shouldn’t. And she mustn’t give me her love either.

We’re a contract. Love is a weakness I can’t afford. Women are just women in my world.

The women at the house last night were good examples, although I admit it’s clear that my cousin Matthew is in love with his wife. That’s his choice, and I’m happy for him. All the other men there with wives cheat. I hate it, but what did I think I was going to do?

Marry Emelia and accept her as my wife the way you should, or would I have women on the side like most of the men in my family?

Pa was not like that with my mother, and while my brothers are sex-crazed animals, I know when they love, they would love hard. The same way I would.

That’s why I can’t do it, and I know that’s why they don’t either.

Love burned my father. Love burned Tristan. The last thing I want to do is fall in love the way Pa did and lose my girl.

With Emelia, it would be hard if I lost her or if I failed her in some way. I can’t live my life in fear.

Fear makes you weak. As boss and as a member of the syndicate, I can’t be weak in any shape or form. Emelia was a plan that is unfolding nicely. The wedding is a week and a day away. Things are in motion. I’m about to have it all.

I make my way back inside when my phone buzzes in my back pocket. Pa’s here. He wanted to see me.

I just got back from the club. Emelia hasn’t seen me yet.

Pa’s already lighting up a cigar in the sitting room when I get down there.

I walk in and close the door. He wants to talk to me, but I need to talk to him too. The situation with Vlad is rubbing me the wrong way.

“Hey, Pa,” I say, sitting opposite him.

“Son, you look like shit.” He smirks, looking me over carefully.

“I’ve seen better days.”

“Talk to me. I’m all ears,” he offers.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know what to do about Vlad. I’m not sure if he’s still in LA. He doesn’t normally stay in one place for too long.”

“There’s every possibility that he’s left. At the same time, he could still be here. It’s all a matter of why he’s here. He and the Shadows.”

“I know, and there’s no way of finding that out,” I answer.

Pa looks at me long and hard. “You’re worried about her,” he notes. “Emelia.”

“I should protect her if she’s with me.” I’m going to find it hard to talk to him about her without giving too much emotion away.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.

“You practically declared her yours last night. I saw.”

He’s not questioning me. He’s stating a fact.

I run my hand over my beard. His expression softens. “I wanted her to feel comfortable.”

“I could see that, but there was more. She’s not like him, Massimo. Not like Riccardo.”

“No, she’s not.” I glance down at the floor.

“You feel for her,” he states. My gaze climbs back up to meet his.

“I’m… I’m just doing what I’m supposed to. That’s the deal, right?”

He smiles at me. “Massimo, you’re marrying this girl next week. She’s been with you for the last three weeks, and the marriage was your idea. A brilliant idea that I would have agreed to either way, but I noticed the way you snapped when Riccardo pushed you about her at the Syndicate meeting.”

I bite the inside of my lip. “He just got to me.”

“Your eyes gave you away. I saw the way she looked at you at the dinner, and I saw how you looked at her. You’re protective of her. The same way I was with your mother.” He straightens up and stares at me.

I gaze back, not knowing what to say. If there’s anyone I can be real with, it’s him. It’s hard because we’re talking about our enemy’s daughter.

“I don’t want anything to happen to her. I can’t.”

“I understand.” An uneasy look settles in his eyes. “Massimo… I feel like the time has come to share a thing or two about the past with you. That’s why I wanted to see you.”

My interest piques. What is he going to tell me?

He draws in a breath. “I’m sure you’ve always wondered what happened to make Riccardo hate me, hate us? I told you we fell out. We did, just not the way you think.”

“What happened?” I’ve been consumed with hate for so long from all that Riccardo did to us that I never needed to concern myself with the fine print.

“We started out as three best friends. Me, Riccardo, and your mother. I always loved her. Always. I just never thought I was good enough for her. As we got older, I shied away, and he stepped up.”

I straighten, unsure of where this conversation is going. I knew my parents knew Riccardo when they were younger and practically grew up together because their fathers were in the syndicate, but it sounds like Pa’s about to tell me something about my mother I never factored in.

“Stepped up to do what?” I narrow my eyes.

“Be with her. She was with Riccardo first.”

My lips part. “What are you saying to me?” I ask, and I wonder who else knew this.

“I was the coward. I could never muster the courage to tell her how I felt. Then I did it one day. I couldn’t stand it. Watching him with the girl I loved, knowing he knew I loved her more than he did.” He pauses, brings his hands together, and continues. “I told her how I felt and asked her to think about it, about me and her. After all, I was about to break up my two best friends. It just so happened to be that the next night, Riccardo proposed. But she… couldn’t say yes. I was there when he asked her, right there in front of everyone we knew, and she couldn’t say yes. Instead, she looked at me, and I knew she chose me.”

“Pa, you’ve never told me this,” I rasp in shock.

“It’s a bad story, son. We decided to be together. Of course, that ripped us all apart. It wasn’t until after you were born that Riccardo came back into our lives. He saw a business opportunity we could both get involved in and be stronger together. I agreed because I felt guilty for what I did. That guilt made me make a lot of mistakes. I gave him too much power. Then he screwed me over.”

“It was like he changed overnight,” I add.

“He’s only ever behaved like that when it came to your mother. Except at the time he did it, there was no reason to. Years had passed since they were together. So, I think something happened.”

“Like what, Pa?” I don’t know what to think. Mom would never cheat on Pa, and not with Riccardo.

“Son, I accepted him back into our lives, but I kept one eye open for the eventuality that he might try to take my girl. My guess is he tried to move in on her, but she chose me again, and it infuriated him. At that time, he had power and didn’t need me anymore.”

“My God,” I breathe.

He raises his hands. “He turned the Syndicate against me and took everything from us. He hated me because I had her. I felt you needed to know. It provides more context to the story.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“You can’t help who you have feelings for, Massimo. It’s just something that happens. So… if you feel for this girl, it won’t matter who she is or where she came from. Don’t be afraid to show her your heart.”

I listen to him and note how he knows me so well. He knows my heart is the one thing I keep locked away from the world and the one thing I’d keep away from Emelia.

I place a wall up around my heart. Every time I’m with her, pieces of the wall fall away. I fall too. For her.

This wedding might be part of the contract, but I know what I’m starting to feel for her is real, and that scares the fuck out of me.