[2] b
“Anya?” I flinched. The sheet I was supposed to work on was still blank in my hands. I winced at the thought of my boss turning into a tiger.
“Be focused.”
I nodded, unsure of where the conversation was heading.
“Do you have a problem?”
Hastily, I shook my head. Only Naomi and Dona knew about this issue. Krystal? I hoped not! My image would be shattered in an instant, and I wasn’t prepared for that. Krystal often praised my performance and skills, and I didn’t want that to change just because I was… pregnant.
No.
No.
We were close, but also distant. She easily asked questions and always got answers, but no one dared to ask her questions in return. Even if someone did, Krystal would just smile in response.
Her fortress was too high, and maybe that’s why I got used to it. I emulated how a career woman should act. Only to certain people would I open up about who I truly was. But that didn’t apply to Krystal. She remained an untouchable woman.
And I should be like that too, right? Oh God! Anya, I swear… I’m incredibly stupid!!!
“Yes, you do.” My reverie broke, and Krystal held up a bundle of red folders that I had given her earlier. It contained the key points for our collaboration with the E-commerce department. My brows furrowed; I couldn’t find any issues there. I had double-checked everything.
“Fix it.”
And Krystal left just like that. I quickly skimmed through the pages, stealing glances at the clock on my computer’s toolbar. I felt frustrated because I only had thirty minutes. Oh my God! The delayed meeting time was helpful, but having to fix the key points in just thirty minutes?
My eyes scanned the pages frantically, and finally, I noticed the mistake. Oh my God! Krystal was questioning my focus! No time to waste; I immediately corrected the error. It was about the budget, and I had already agreed with the finance department. This was a critical point that we would consider in the meeting later. Why did this have to be wrong? Oh my God!
The printer hadn’t even finished printing the revisions, and Krystal had already left the room. This made me feel even more flustered as I scrambled to put on my high heels.
“Ready, Anya?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She simply nodded and started walking without caring if I was ready. For her, time was money, and opportunities should never be wasted. Fortunately, she didn’t leave me behind in the elevator.
“Don’t lose focus, okay? How long have you been working with me?”
I chose to purse my lips.
When the elevator doors opened, the sound of our high heels tapping echoed. Some people turned and gave us fake smiles, especially towards Krystal. As usual, my boss only gave a small smile. She wore an army green slit pencil skirt, paired with a long-sleeved shirt that highlighted her long neck. Her long hair cascaded freely. Hermes was always Krystal Blaxton’s favorite brand.
Like a model, she always managed to captivate almost everyone’s attention in the lobby. She was my reflection. Until yesterday, that is. Because now, I felt like I was plummeting into the void. Ah, minus zero even.
Charismatic, independent, smart, beautiful, elegant, polite, and actually… kind. She was just an over-perfectionist. I always took Krystal as my role model. Seven years working under the same flag, with the last four as her secretary. It made me learn so many styles and positive auras that Krystal presented in front of a crowd, especially in business meetings.
But now? Everything feels pointless.
“Anya, seriously. Do you need to take leave next week?” Krystal asked.
I blinked slowly, trying to gather my thoughts after daydreaming.
“Did you hear what Anya just said?”
“Leave?” I mumbled.
Krystal got into her luxurious sedan with a very distinct huff. I was sure it was directed at me. As my behind landed on the plush leather seat of her car, she was still not done making me feel foolish today.
“Why won’t you talk to me? What’s wrong with you?” Krystal shot at me, her eyes sharp.
“Because, I need your focus, Anya. Don’t mess up this meeting. You know what I mean, right?” I strengthened my resolve. “I don’t have any problems, ma’am. Maybe it’s just because I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
I heard her sigh, her hands now in a relaxed position. “Next time, I won’t be like this again.”
***
The meeting went just as Krystal wanted, leaving a pile of work for me. We returned to the office at five o’clock. Office hours officially ended, but for me, not yet. I refused to leave any work unfinished today. Tomorrow’s business can wait. Today’s tasks must be done today. It wasn’t too much work anyway. If my calculations were correct, I should be out of the office by seven.
Krystal’s back disappeared behind her office’s glass door. I quickly placed the documents and my bag down, then sat back, leaning against the chair. Today had been tiring for me. Maybe washing my face to feel fresh again wouldn’t be a bad idea. So, I acted on my intention, exchanging my heels for pink fluffy sandals for comfort.
Indeed, it was not a bad idea at all. I felt refreshed and ready for overtime. For a moment, I forgot about the overwhelming thoughts of what was inside my womb. When I returned to the room, Cedric was there, just stepping out of Krystal’s office.
I don’t know why, but my body tensed up. As if everything that happened between Cedric and me automatically played in my mind.
“Ms. Anya?” I didn’t know how long I had been daydreaming. What I knew was that Cedric was now standing in front of me, looking confused. I cleared my throat briefly and chose to walk past him, ignoring his presence.
“Are you working late, ma’am?”
Usually, he often asked this question to employees who left the office late. Some of them would request a cup of coffee or warm tea and snacks. “Ah, yes. Anya is working overtime.”
“Do you want me to make you tea as well?”
I didn’t know how to respond.
“Ms. Krystal also asked for tea. Maybe Ms. Anya wants some too?” Cedric seemed to be looking down when I glanced at him. I don’t know why.
“Sure.”
He only nodded briefly and disappeared from my view. I had to completely ignore his presence, forget about what happened over the past two months, and pretend that what was inside me didn’t exist. Or maybe I should just get rid of it? It’s distracting my concentration, after all.
Really.
Oh well, this time, I better stay late. Krystal hadn’t shown any signs of leaving yet. I could still hear her voice, probably on the phone with someone.
“I put it here, ma’am.”
Maybe because I was too focused and immersed in my work, I just nodded without looking at Cedric again. Slowly, the scent of jasmine tea and salty cheese reached my nose. I glanced at the tray that Cedric had placed on the nearby table.
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Cedric