Chapter 14 New Kind of Feeling
Chapter 14 New Kind of Feeling
Livy
I couldn't control my tears, they flowed down uninterruptedly, I bet I could bath in it.
Why exactly was I crying? Could it be the fact that for a brief moment there I completely surrendered
my body to a man who wasn't mine and might never be mine, or could it be that at the end of
everything that just happened, I'm the one who got the short end of the stick?
I tried to stop myself from crying, but I couldn't. I was beginning to look pathetic, at least that's what my
mother would have said.
My eyes and head were hurting, and so was my heart. Tonight, without a push or any physical
pressure, my heart was totally shattered.
I felt empty and cold like I was standing on ice, nothing had changed.
I thought maybe, just maybe something physical could just be a stepping stone in our relationship, but I
was wrong.
I would never get anything out of these marriage, he said it himself, but I thought I could get things
done my own way.
I was treated worse than trash tonight and it doesn't feel nice. I haven't felt this worthless before, and it
feels so dry.
I gathered my strength and walked over to the couch where I laid curled up in a ball.
I needed a safe place, somewhere that was not my current reality but for how long?
I was sad but above all I was pissed, the way he treated me tonight was unsettling and I was done with
it.
The reason why I can't be were he is, may be because I'm so timid, I know these well. And with such
attitude i know I'll never find a place in his life for myself, so maybe it's time to stop.
But deep down I knew that once the sun rises tomorrow, I'll go back to my default setting, so why
bother?
That realization alone made me understand just how much my mother was right about me all these
years, so i just cried away my frustration. I must have cried myself to sleep because I didn't hear him
come out of the bathroom.
It was 2:25am in the morning and I was jerked awake but some unsettling hands.
When I opened my eyes, they searched the room and landed on Markian's face.
He looked perplexed, what was wrong with him? I wondered. Did he have a bad dream or something?
It took just a split second for the pain to hit, then I realized that the look on his face was actually that of
pure worry.
I have never seen him this way before now, hell, I thought nothing fazes him. Was he really concerned
about me or was this just him pretending again, so I'll let my guide down?
I removed his hands from my shoulders and attempted to sit upright when the pain hit me again and I
cringed in pure agony.
He held me close and helped me to sit upright steadily, but once again I shrugged his hands away from
where they rested on my shoulders.
I bit my lower lips and pinned my nail into the couch to help stop me from groaning in pain.
I must have unintentionally woken up 'His Royal Highness' with my groaning while I was asleep.
I was about to tell him that I was sorry for waking him up and that he should go back to sleep, but was
interrupted before I could form the words in between another horrible cramp.
"What's wrong? Is your stomach hurting...what should I do? Should I call for an ambulance, or maybe I
should take you to the hospital myself? Are you in so much pain? I think you might be running a
temperature, so let's just go to the hospital ok? I'll take you there." he inquired and suggested all at the
same time.
I've never seen nor imagined that there was this side to Markian, a side that was caring and
considerate.
He tried to put the back of his palm on my forehead, but I flinched away from his touch, even if a part of
me wanted to enjoy this moment a while longer.
This moment when Markian is actually being nice to me is happening for real, right? I'm not imagining
it, was I?
Just few hours ago, he had me on that bed completely at his mercy but called me shameless, and told
me he can't even pretend to want to be with me.
No, it's not real, he's not getting me this time. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on
me- I just can't fall for this.
I suddenly felt very nauseous and was about to throw up, so I pushed his hand away which intended on
giving me a comforting rub on my back- or at least I thought that was what he wanted to do, and I ran
into the bathroom.
I threw up to my heart's content, with the entire dinner I had with Daniel all gone down the drain.
The cramps and the headache felt like a hole was being bored inside my head and lower abdomen, I
didn't even notice him standing right next to me.
Oh wow, now this was embarrassing. I look like a mess and even worse, I smelled terrible.
He bent down to hold my hair up, but I pushed his hands away and hurried to the sink to rinse my
mouth.
I stayed in front of the sink looking at my reflection in the mirror while holding my lower abdomen with
one hand as I tried to stifle the pain.
I looked at the corner where He stood through the mirror and saw him looking at... was he really staring
at my butt right now? I was furious and suddenly turned towards him.
"You...you have blood st..." he mumbled, while I quickly turned and realized my dress had a blood stain
on it.
Oh my God, could tonight get any worst?!
I tried to hide it with my hands and asked him to leave, while I flushed with embarrassment.
When he left, i locked the door, undressed and made my way to the shower to get myself cleaned up.
When I got out, I could barely walk with the dizziness and pain I was feeling. So I just sat at the corner
and realized I didn't come in with a sanitary pad or a change of clothes.
I kept cringing in pain and was almost knocked out by it about, when 10mins later, I heard a knock on
the door. I knew it was Markian, but I didn't want to see him.
When I didn't answer, "I have somethings you might need, I'll just leave them here by the door" he said,
dropping off something by the door and left.
At first I was reluctant to stand up, but my stubbornness won't help me in here, so I gently opened the
bathroom door and found my night wear neatly folded on the floor with a bottle of water. I reached out
and grabbed them, the shut the door again.
When I unfolded the cloth, I found a tampon, one of my panties and a small pharmacy drug bag. At this
point all my anger faded away like tiny whispers, and my chest became so warm and comforted.
I didn't want to doubt if his concern towards me was real or fake anymore, I just wanted to be close to
him and in his arms, even though I might regret it later when I get rejected and humiliated again.
Typical Livy, I thought as I got dressed and slipped in the tampon- it was my first time using one so it
felt strange. I took the pain reliever and headed out of the bathroom confidently.
I got a fright when I saw him stand by the bathroom door, was he probably waiting for me?
"You can sleep on the bed with me tonight, the couch is a bit messed up..." he said, clearing his throat
as my eyes darted to the red blood stain on the couch and I cringed in horror.
I quickly averted my eyes and walked to one side of the bed and laid down quietly without saying a
word, once again embarrassed. That pain reliever kicked in fast and before I knew it, I drifted asleep.
Markian
I woke up to painful groans and sounds, was she having a nightmare? I wondered, or could it be that I
may have hurt her by mistake? But what do I care? I've never cared about anything concerning her
before anyway, so why start now?
I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't, so I turned to look towards the couch were she laid all curled
up.
She would occasionally curl up further while groaning, but when she turned to face me, I saw a tear roll
down her eyes to her ear.
I panicked and rushed to her. Was she really having a bad dream? and if she was, it wouldn't hurt to
wake her up, right? So I jerked her awake.
At first she was surprised, so I thought maybe it was just a bad dream, but when she cringed in pain,
my heart gave up.
The first time I witnessed someone in such pain was when my mother was being hospitalized. She had
cancer and was in so much pain all the time. UShe would often stifle the pain as not to make a sound,
but I understood how much she was suffering.
Then, there was that time Sophy and I were kidnapped as kids. She was in so much pain but wouldn't
make a sound, just so I won't be worried.
I knew those men did something to her, and even though we became friends, I wasn't able to help her. I
wanted desperately to take the pain from her, but in the end, I abandoned her like my mother
abandoned me.
My mind went into a frantic whirlpool as it imagined lots of cases that could be the reason for Livy's
pain at the moment, and I found myself very worried and concerned.
I tried to help her but each time I did, she pushed me away.
Just few days ago she wanted me to be nice to her, and now I was she was turning me down? Ok,
maybe what I did tonight wasn't completely right, but I too have suffered from her constant betrayal and
dishonesty. But if I can't help her and something bad happens again, I don't think I could forgive myself.
Each time she pushed me away, I still found myself going after her and trying to help her out like I was
drawn to her.
What is wrong with me? Since when did I become concerned of what's happening to Livy. She could
stand and walk, so she wasn't in any danger, so why am I going out of my way to assist this despicable
woman?
I only relaxed a bit when I saw the blood stain on her dress, it means it wasn't anything serious, it was
just her menstruation.
When she asked me to leave the bathroom and locked herself in, I knew she wouldn't come out to get
her stuffs, so I had to go through her luggages and found some utilities.
I arranged them in an order that she won't be embarrassed to accept it, then I called for her to take it by
the door.
I went back to put her luggage back in order and that's when I saw it. A candy bar paper wrap I made a
ring out of years ago, but why does Livy have it when it was Sophy I gifted it to 15 years ago?
I must be confused, it couldn't be the same ring, and moreover it's been so long. I waved the thought
away and set the luggage back in it rightful place.
I thought to go back to bed, but I just couldn't because I was still feeling a bit restless. So, I looked at
the bathroom door and saw that she had taken the utilities I laid for her.
I mentally congratulated myself on a job well done and stood by the door, waiting for her to finally come
out.
When she finally came out, I was surprised as to just how different she was looking.
She had her hair tied in a messy bun which made her features more vivid. The nightwear I had picked
was quite short exposing her sexy enticing thighs that draw me in.
She didn't have any bra on so her breast were looking quite bigger than I'ld noticed before, with her
nipples standing and inviting, they were breathtaking- what a work of art, I imagined. She looked so
beautiful and captivating I almost got caught staring at her.
"You can sleep on the bed with me tonight, the couch is a bit messed up..." I managed to cough out,
clearing my throat's t that had suddenly gone dry looking at my wife.
Was she always this beautiful and why have I never noticed? I wondered as she moved silently to the
bed and laid unmoving like a statue.
I took a glass of water and drank every bit of it, hoping it would quench the desire that was burning
inside of me at the moment.
She slept off in no time, while I stayed awake staring at her for another 30mins -wondering what it
would have been like if she wasn't Sophy's traitorous sister, before I finally fell asleep.
"What is your name?...my name is..." I went shut when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
She held on to me terribling in fear and sobbing softly almost silently. Other little girls would have cried
so loudly, and we would have been caught again, but not my little rose-cheek.
She was in so much pain but we had to be quiet if we wanted to escape. I took her hand and we
crawled our way out the basement through a hole on the ground leading outside.
We ran through the forest not knowing where we were or who we are, but we kept on running.
She was very small and fragile looking but had a lot of endurance, the only problem was that she
wouldn't speak.
I knew they did something to her, she was always sobbing and wincing in pain each time I touched her
body, so I knew I had to protect her- I promised I would protect her.
But the truth was, she protected me more times than I did. It was her idea to make a call to the police
the moment we got on the highway.
They kept us at the station for half a day, then took us to the orphanage- since the station wasn't a
place for kids, while they made more investigations to find our families.
From the moment we got to the orphanage, she was often taken to the clinic because she became
sick.
Then on the 4th day, my father's wife came to get me but I knew deep down she was disappointed to
find me alive.
I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye or at least knowing her name, but she was unconscious
and my stepmother wasn't very patient, so she dragged me away.
The next morning I woke up to a warm feeling on my chest. I just had a dream or was it a memory of
what happened years ago? Why now, when it's been so long? Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
I was surprised to find Livy sleeping peacefully on my chest, but I didn't flinch. I remained there as I
unconsciously studied her hairline and face, wondering just how fearless she was in doing things she
shouldn't be doing.
She looked peaceful as her chest rise and fell in sync with mine.
I wondered if we had the same heart beat rate, so I moved my free hand to her neck to check her pulse
and check mine too. Something I picked up in my time at the hospital taking care of my mother before
her demise.
Our heart beats matched almost perfectly and that little fact amazed me.
I laid there, breathing in the sweet smell of her hair until it cultivated a little space at the back of my
mind.
Sooner than later, I felt her waking up, so I shut my eyes pretending to still be asleep.
Livy
I opened my eyes and searched the room just to find out I wasn't in the position I had slept in.
I wasn't really a restless sleeper but surprisingly, I found myself on Markian's chest. I quickly realized
my mistake and slowly slipped away quietly.
I quickly took a shower and changed into a comfortable wrap dress, combed my hair and let it pour
down almost to my waist. I touched up my face with a little makeup and was feeling better now that the
cramps had stopped.
I grabbed my phone and stepped out to the balcony quietly to call Heather and tell her all about last
night.
I was so happy and excited that I didn't even check the time before I called. It was after 11am here but I
seemed to have woken her up from her sleep, since Shanghai was 12hrs earlier.
"That's progress right?" I asked, after telling her everything in details.
"Of course it is, but being able to decipher what his mood is at all times would go a long way in your
relationship. If you can't understand what his eyes are saying, then you just might miss your cues" she
advised heartedly.
I'm so glad to have someone I can share things like this with, because Heather is such a great listener
and give amazing advices.
"But I'm worried. What if he wakes up and goes back to being mean old Markian again, what then
should I do?" I asked sincerely.
"You'll just have to keep doing what you are doing. The fact is that, he can't bear to see you hurt, so for
now that is a trump card for you" she replied making me feel at easy.
She was right but, since he seemed very worried about me yesterday, I'm sure he must have had a bad
experience of seeing people in pain. I don't know if I should exploit that card as Heather said.
"What are you thinking about? You can't use it can you?" She asked and I affirmed.
"Well, you sure are a better person than I am. If it's me, I'll make the most of that card before it
expires." She said honestly.
I liked the fact that she was honest, but she's right, I'm not like her at all. I can't use people's
weaknesses against them.
"Thanks so much for hearing me out, even though I rudely interrupted your sleep, Heather" I
apologized.
"It's nothing. You know I love hearing of how well my plan is working anytime, anyday. Plus, it's about
time I got up to do some work anyway. So thanks for the wake up call," she replied and we hung up
after saying out goodbyes.
That afternoon, an invitation came in but was addressed only to Markian.
For heaven's sake, this was my freaking honeymoon. Shouldn't any invite being send to us be
addressed to Mr and Mrs Markian Winfrey?
I was getting agitated again, this happens anytime I'm on my period- I get mood swings.
But regardless, no way am I leaving my husband's side from now on till we head back home.
I have decided to enjoy my honeymoon with my husband and nobody would stop me, not even
Markian.
I was so determined that I went shopping and got myself a gorgeous gown and shoe for the occasion
this evening.
Heather
The moment I dropped the phone with Livy, I rolled to my side and kissed- on the lips, the hunk of man
meat lying next to me butt naked, and I got up.
I had fallen asleep after a steamy hot evening with Mr. Handsome on the bed. His name was Kevin
Ling, and he is a Medical Doctor - in practice.
He's younger than me with two years, but compared to me, he looks quite matured. He's got the body
of a sex god and boy, does he know his way around a woman's body.
We've been seeing each other in secret for almost a year and 2 months now, and at 30, people keep
wondering when I'll settle down and start a family, but I've got no time for any of that.
All I wanted was for S. Group to hit the international market under my supervision, plus, when I've got a
hunk like Kevin, what more could I ask for?
Currently, he is in his final session of residency and would be done soon.
Of course, I don't show him off, well, if people knew I was dating a college student, the press might
escalate and shot the story out of proportion.
I have a reputation to uphold and he understands perfectly, he doesn't expect too much and executes
his job wonderfully.
Honestly, I can't say I'm always proud of my choices, but he is one choice I'm happy I made.
Thanks to Livy, I'm now 100% sure that Daniel is there with them, so now I can execute my plan.
Putting a conference call through to all the investors of S. Group- or as I like to call them, my people. I
only wanted to affirm just how many of them are still loyal to me and how many are not.
If my father thinks that selling his shares to help Daniel just swoop in and take my crown, then he has a
different game in mind.
Before now, I've been buying lots and lots of shares from the company, so before I leave, I plan on
taking with me 67% of my investors, stakeholders and shares.
If there are no armies, then what battle do they think they can win without an army.
Before I returned to Shanghai, I had a lunch date with Mrs. Luthel and she assured me that she was on
my side.
With her, I've got an additional 20% already at my beck and call.
Bottom line is, if I'm not the head of. S. Group then, there will be no S. Group at all.