Loving You Too Long

The chefs had served lunch on the deck. Haisley, still unsteady, left Nathan, who remained silent. Gilbert was already on the deck, wearing his unbuttoned shirt and knee-length shorts. Loretta was back in her beach sarong, wearing a bikini and damp hair.

The lemon had at least settled Haisley’s stomach a bit. She picked up a plate and started filling it with food, then carried it to the quietest corner she could find.

Gilbert sat beside her. He put his slightly wrinkled hand on Haisley’s forehead. “You’re not running a fever, but you look really pale, Princess,” he whispered, concern lacing his voice.

Haisley forced a smile. “There’s something I need to tell you, G,” she replied, gazing at Gilbert with sad eyes.Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

“We can talk elsewhere,” he said, taking Haisley’s plate with his right hand while his left hand gently held her small one. They went back inside the ship, walking through the corridors until Gilbert opened a door.

He led Haisley into the karaoke room and locked the door from the inside. The room was soundproof, and Gilbert seemed to have brought Haisley to the right place. “What’s going on? Did something happen while I was away?” he asked, full of concern, offering the food to Haisley again. But she chose to place her plate on the table, reluctant to touch it.

“I’ve made a decision, G,” she began softly.

“What decision?” Gilbert looked at her with a furrowed brow.

“I’ve decided to give up. Decided to stop hoping for Nathan,” she said, her eyes now welling up. Gilbert widened his eyes at her confession. He stepped closer, embracing Haisley again, cradling the girl’s head against his chest. Haisley finally let out all the emotions she had been holding since her arrival in England. Since her encounter with Nathan. Since her introduction to Loretta.

“I give up,” she said hoarsely. “I can never measure up to Crystal. Not her beauty. Not her intelligence. Not her grace.” Haisley released herself from Gilbert’s embrace and wiped her tears roughly. “And now, there’s Loretta. I’m not the kind of woman Nathan likes. Mature, elegant, classy? I’m the opposite of them.

“How could Nathan ever like me? And look,” Haisley spread her arms, gesturing to the entire interior of the karaoke room. She showed Gilbert what she meant. “He’s even doing all of this for Loretta. Because he adores Loretta so much. I give up, G,” Haisley patted her chest. “I can’t compete anymore,” she said, her tears flowing freely.

Haisley then recounted the conversation that happened between her and Nathan after Gilbert’s departure. About her openly deciding to stop liking Nathan and shifting her focus to Gilbert.

“Why, H? We haven’t even started anything,” he said softly, wiping Haisley’s tear-streaked face with his large thumbs.

Haisley shook her head. “I’m not sure I can, G. Maybe it’s better if I forget about Nathan and start a new chapter. Or perhaps I should forget about new beginnings altogether and focus on my school. Then go back to America and start my love story there.”

“H…”

“He never even acknowledged my existence!” Haisley exclaimed in frustration. “If only Nathan had a tiny bit of concern for me. Maybe he wouldn’t be like this.” Haisley took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly. Her chest felt so painful that her tears couldn’t be held back any longer. “If only he knew my fears, he wouldn’t have done this, even though he likes Loretta so much. If only he had a little affection for me, maybe he would have chosen a different way to make Loretta happy. And now I understand. He slapped me with all these harsh truths, G.

“I give up. I lose. And I think it’s better to be heartbroken now than later, after I’ve gone too far and hoped too much.”

“H… I think this is just your momentary emotion. Later, after we’re home, we’ll talk about this again. Okay?” Gilbert clearly didn’t want to give up so easily.

He cared deeply for Haisley and knew how much she liked his brother. Gilbert also knew that Nathan had similar feelings for her, even though he hadn’t realized it- or perhaps he had but was reluctant to admit it.

Gilbert knew that everything Nathan was doing right now wasn’t just for Loretta. Loretta was just one of the coincidences that happened at the wrong time. Nathan wasn’t the kind of person to willingly waste his precious time for a woman. He hadn’t even done this for Loretta before, despite the fact that they had known each other for a year.

Gilbert knew that Nathan was doing all of this for Haisley. Because a long time ago, both Nathan and Gilbert knew how much Haisley loved the ocean. But since that incident- an incident Nathan was unaware of because he had decided to leave first- Haisley had become someone afraid of the depths of water. Whether it was a pool or the ocean.

And perhaps Nathan didn’t know how significant that fear was for Haisley and regarded it as a minor fear. Maybe Nathan thought that going sailing like this would heal Haisley, even though in reality, the opposite was happening.

And Gilbert didn’t want their important relationship to end due to misunderstandings like this.

“Now rest. You’re in a fragile state because of our current situation. Later, when we’re on solid ground, think about everything calmly. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment.

“Remember, H. Ten years you’ve fought to wait for Nathan is not a short time,” he reminded her. Haisley just remained silent.

Haisley woke up with a pounding head and a queasy stomach. After her conversation with Gilbert, he had insisted that she have lunch. After that, Haisley had fallen asleep.

She looked out the window, and the orange hues had already filled the sky. Had she slept too long?

Haisley was still in the karaoke room, the last place she remembered being. The dirty plates were gone, probably taken away by Gilbert while she was sleeping.

She walked out of the room, heading back to the shipyard where she believed her friends were. True enough, some of them were sitting, enjoying the view, while others stood with drinks in hand.

Loretta, the girl, had changed into a beautiful gradient blue-green beach dress that complemented her pale skin and made her slender figure even more stunning. “Feeling better?” the girl asked kindly. Haisley nodded, although her head was throbbing even harder. “Want something to drink? Something alcohol-free?” the girl offered again. But Haisley declined.

Haisley looked around and saw Gilbert talking to Steven, while Nathan was in another corner, wearing his sunglasses and seemingly gazing at the beautiful scenery in front of him.

Reluctant to approach them, Haisley chose to walk towards the group of women.

“You look pale,” Reia observed with concern. Haisley smiled faintly and chose to stand, holding onto the metal railing. The strong wind tousled her long hair.

The reflection of the setting sun looked so beautiful before her. The smell of the sea was strong in the air. Haisley closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the sensation.

“Lucky are the women liked by the Chayton family,” Reia said again. Haisley opened her eyes, looking at her new friend who was now sitting with her hips leaning against the railing, her back facing the ocean, a colorful drink in one hand.

Haisley followed Reia’s gaze, turning around and leaning against the railing as well. She saw Loretta standing next to Nathan, whispering something in his ear, causing him to slightly lean towards her.

“Pretty girl for the handsome guy. Rich for the rich. You’re lucky too because Gilbert seems to like you,” she said with a melancholic smile on her face. Haisley knew that Reia was one of Gilbert’s admirers. Just like Haisley’s feelings for Nathan, Reia’s feelings for Gilbert would also likely remain unrequited.

“I’m lucky to know them. To me, they’re the best big brothers I’ve never had,” she replied with a genuine smile.

“Why don’t you just date Gilbert?”

“He already likes someone else,” Haisley answered honestly. Just as she smiled, Nathan turned around. Haisley didn’t know where he was looking because his beautiful eyes were still covered by his sunglasses.

And at that moment-somehow, some way-their yacht rocked so violently. Haisley and Reia, who were leaning on the railing, suddenly lost their balance, and both of them fell backward into the water. Haisley heard people calling her name and Reia’s simultaneously. Just before she felt her back hit the water with a deafening splash.

No!

Her entire body was soaked. Her legs hurt. Something seemed to pull her deeper into the cold, dark water.

Haisley tried to inhale. But instead of air filling her lungs, it was hot, suffocating water. Haisley coughed, but instead of relief, she felt her throat being constricted.

Pain!

Haisley clutched her throat with both hands while her legs thrashed, kicking the water with all her might. She hoped her kicks would propel her back to the surface, but instead, she sank further.

She could swim. God, she was a good swimmer. Her father always said she could be a swimming athlete if she wanted. But why couldn’t her legs bring her up? Why didn’t her hands, paddling desperately, lift her body?

Haisley kept trying to breathe, clutching her throat, wanting to scream for help. But the heat, the sting, and the pain forced their way into her body, invading her lungs.

Haisley was tired. Her head couldn’t think anymore. Everything was turning black.

Someone, please! She screamed in desperation, knowing no one would hear.

Haisley was exhausted. And she chose to give up. It felt so suffocating. She couldn’t breathe. And everything truly just became darkness.