Chapter 14: 14
Chapter 14: 14
Making myself busy through tons of paper works really well. Three days since I returned to work, I have
had no first concern but to spend my whole morning at work. It was tiring but helpful.
I got my mind really occupied that I almost forgot what bothers me the past few weeks. It's really just
when I go home, because no matter how much I exhaust myself at work, when the time comes when I
don't do anything and I'm alone, that's where my mind flies towards that person.
It's exhausting.
You keep looking back only to feel sorry for yourself in the end.
It's been a year and up until now, I am still questioning myself what I lacked, what went wrong, or is
there something I failed to do.
I know I did everything beyond what I had believed was my limitation.
That person, I loved him in a way I never thought I could do. I took a risk thinking he would be worth all
that trouble. I had surpassed my expectation for myself because I wanted to love him with all the things
I had.
But still, those are not enough. I was still not enough. ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .
That's the question I kept on asking myself.
What am I missing?
Where am I missing?
Why?
I pity myself for still seeking justification for that.
I shrugged that thought as I noticed what time it was already. It's Eight o'clock in the evening and we're
barely in the office. I'm the only one in our department and the others are Hans’ team.
They are still finalizing their presentation for tomorrow so they will definitely do more in the evening.
So, I decided to order boxes of pizza and gave it to them as I bid goodbye. They are also close to me
and giving them a little more encouragement is a small thing. Hans often do the same when it was my
team who will be having a presentation.
"Take care. Call me as soon as you get home." He reminded me. It even opened my car door and even
helped me sit up.
I nodded in response. "Go home right away, okay? Don't get too tired so you still have energy tomorrow
for the presentation." I ordered. He just nodded and then bent down to kiss my forehead.
"All right. Go ahead," He said.
I smiled and said goodbye to him. I drove as fast as I could but safely.
I really want to go home and rest. I feel like if I stay awake, especially tonight, that's where my brain will
take me again. It’s like I have a time machine in my brain and I’m always carried away by the past.
It was already nine o'clock when I arrived home. My eyes were falling and I almost fell asleep in the
elevator up to my unit. My eyes were almost closed when I reached the right floor of my unit. I only
realized that I was about to drown because of being a sibling.
“Oh, shit!” I blurted out.
I rolled my eyes across the hallway. First, to see if anyone saw me almost on all fours and second,
what stumbled on the asking.
There were boxes outside the door next to mine. Maybe there’s a new move there. I also had no
neighbor in that unit for almost a few months.
I slowly skipped that box that tripped me, trying not to make a noise. The owner might come out and
think I'm doing something wrong with their stuff..
"Why are they moving at this hour." I muttered when I entered my unit.