shuhaige
Chapter 23
My cell phone is ringing.
I don’t want to answer it, it’s still too early to wake up on a Saturday.
My cell phone rings again. After much listening to this noise, I decided to look at the phone’s screen.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.
It’s Matt. I look at the screen and there are about twenty calls, how strange. I sit up in bed. And before I can redial his number, he is calling me again. I answer in a sleepy voice and whine at the same time:
”Hey Matt, why are you calling me so early?”
He just says:
”Can you come here?”
I sit up in bed. Matt is in a strange voice. I say:
”Now?”
He just says:
”Yep. Now.”
”Is everything okay, Matt? Did something happen? You’re making me worried.”
He takes a deep breath:
”Just come here, Okay?”
Then he hangs up.
I don’t know what to do for a while. Matt is not like this, what could have happened to make him act this way? Maybe Megan made up one of those last-minute meetings or trips again.
I quickly get dressed and order a cab.
On the way to Matt’s apartment, I feel a strange tightness inside my chest, as if something bad is happening and it makes me apprehensive. But I have no idea why he’s like that, I’m really worried about him.
And I’m also worried about having to meet with Yan after what happened yesterday, I’m never prepared for that and today won’t be any different.
I get out of the cab and take a deep breath.
I need to get in and find out what is going on.
I open the door and go inside. Megan is sitting on the couch. What is she doing here so early in the morning? This has to be her.
As soon as she sees me she stands up, I greet her and she answers back. I look at her a little confused and ask:
”Where is Matt?”
She looks a little worried, or is it unfunny? When she answers:
”In his room.”
What the fuck is going on here? But I decide not to ask her and go look for him.
I follow in that direction. As soon as I pass Yan’s room, I see that it is ajar and there is a silence there, I keep walking.
I open the door to Matt’s room.
He is sitting on the bed with his head down, he raises his eyes and as soon as he sees me, he looks even sadder. His eyes are red, his hair is messed up, and he just stares at me and says:
”Tell me it’s a lie!”
My heart leaps inside my chest because somehow I think I know what’s going on, even if I don’t want to believe it now.
I try to move closer, but he stands up and puts a hand in the air to make me stop, saying:
”Just… talk!”
I am desperate to see him like this, so I question him:
”What?”
He looks me in the eye and I could swear he hates me, so tears come out of my eyes. He says:
”Tell me you didn’t sleep with him?”
My body is frozen, but my face burns like never before and my life.
My whole body burns after I realize that he knows. He still stares at me and I have no reaction, my throat also burns and I don’t know what to say, but I try:
”Matt, I…”
He interrupts me:
”Stop. You don’t have to say anything else.”
He closes his eyes and I see tears fall down his face.
I hate myself. Definitely.
He runs his hand through his hair and stands with his back to me as he says:
”I knew he couldn’t have made all that up.”
”He?”
He must be talking about Yan. But I don’t understand.
I’m too desperate right now to think about what Yan did.
More tears fall from my eyes.
I move toward him and hug him from behind. I feel his body tremble. His arms are still at his sides and I am dying inside for being the reason he is like this.
I want to apologize in every possible way, but I know it won’t do any good now.
But I insist:
”Matt forgive me, please, I love you, I love you so much…”
He just says:
”Please stay away from me.”
I hold him even tighter while repeating over and over again that I love him.
But he holds my wrists tight and pulls them away from his body slowly.
He turns to me, I have never seen that look before, he has never looked at me like that as if he doesn’t know me and it breaks me up.
He says:
”Do you have any idea how I am feeling right now?”
”Matt…”
He stares at me and I see even more anger on his face, somehow I know I deserve and need to hear anything he wants to say to me before I try to convince him that I love him and forgive me.
”You slept with my brother all this time and…”
”But it was only twice.”
This sounds even worse when said out loud and I know and realize it, even more, when he looks even angrier and punches the table on the side of the bed.
I shudder and cry even more. I have never seen him like this, losing control is not Matt’s thing.
He stares for a while, looking down at where his hand is.
There is silence in the room and all we can hear are my sobs. He just says:
”You broke it all Sky. You’re done with me.”
I can’t stand to hear it, I go towards him again, but he won’t let me hug him. He just tells me:
”Go away!”
He takes a deep breath and completes:
”I swear I don’t want to say things to you that I’ll regret later!”
I walk away slowly.
Despite everything I’ve done, he still thinks about not hurting me. I cry even more because I realize the biggest shit I’ve ever done in my life, which was cheating on him.