In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

I finish drying the glasses and walk out of the kitchen past the two of them and just look quickly and say goodnight, but even quickly, I can swear Yan is biting back a smile as he says goodnight back, and I really want to disappear now. … I wake up, look to the side and see that Matt is fast asleep. I am thirsty and get up to get some water in the kitchen. Actually, I’m hungry too, so I determine what to do. I turn on the hallway lights that also turn on the living room lights. I walk slowly so as not to wake anyone up. Furthermore, I pass by Yan’s bedroom door and take a deep breath, I’ll have to face him sooner or later and I know he’ll have that smile again, the one he always has when he baffles me. We should have arranged for him to stop teasing me in that agreement of ours as well. The lights in the living room illuminate almost the entire apartment, and I go straight to the filter without turning on the kitchen lights. I pick up the glass next to the filter and: “There’s ice water here if you prefer.” I turn around with my hand on my heart to find Yan standing shirtless with a glass of water in his hand. “My God Yan! Do you want to kill me?” He just takes the glass to his mouth and drinks his water normally as if he hadn’t almost scared me to death seconds ago, then says: “I was here before you, who arrived and didn’t notice.” I give up trying to have any conversation without him being right, he always acts as if he is right, and I am the wrong one.  I put my water back in the glass, he just watches me, and this is already making me all nervous.  Only then do I realize how I’m dressed, wearing only Matt’s shirt and panties. I close my eyes for a while. I can’t hide anymore, I just have to act natural, which seems really impossible to do around him. As soon as I finish drinking my water, I get ready to leave him there, but he says: “You don’t have to run away just because I’m here.” I turn around and say: “I’m not doing this.” He turns to put the glass in the sink as he says: “Yes, you are.” I still look at him trying to convince him that he is wrong, but it is hard to pretend when that is the truth, I want to get away from him and this almost naked body in front of me as fast as possible. “Okay, so what do you suggest?” He looks me up and down and back into my eyes with his usual smile and says: “Eat?” I swallow hard, and he laughs when he realizes it, and I hate myself that he might notice it. He concludes by walking past me and opening the refrigerator: “I’m hungry, maybe we can make a sandwich, what do you say?” I close my eyes, take a deep breath and say: “Okay, but can you act normal?” He looks at me confused, but still smiling. I complete: “No, not acting normal, just not being, you know, those things you say….” I know I’m doing and talking shit again,, but it’s impossible to avoid. I find out mentally that I hate myself again for making it so obvious. He interrupts me: “Look, I think I got it.” That was easy. I breathe quietly again. I think this here, this moment between us, might work out after all. He looks back into the fridge as he takes some ingredients and puts them on the table and says: “I promise I won’t even touch the fact that I noticed that you were very interested in my kiss with Tracy.” If I had any color in my face, I bet it disappeared the very moment he opened his mouth to remind me of it. Where did I ever think that this conversation could somehow go? “Yan…” He interrupts me: “No! I said we weren’t going to touch that subject.” Okay. He’s really a confusing person to me, but I know he just wanted to make me confused as always. But he continues: “And after all, seeing you looking at us in a way, helped and….” He looks at me again: “And how it helped.” Calm down Sky. Breathe. Cut the eye contact. Breathe, woman! I breathe and step out of the direction of her eyes to go to the drawer to get the salt. I go back to the table where the ingredients for our sandwiches are. He has already sat down and started preparing his, while I am still going to start mine, I say: “Tracy is nice.” He doesn’t look at me and says: “Yes, she is.” He doesn’t look so excited. He finishes his sandwich and I finish mine. We eat in silence. After a while, I say: “She’s a brunette.” He looks at me and says: “Yep.” I don’t know why,, but I want to go all the way with this and we both know where I’m going with it. Then I continue: “You always brought blonde girls.” He stops eating for a while and looks me in the eye once more. And the feeling it gives me makes me regret that I ever got into this story. He says: “Remember what I explained to you about always bringing blonde women?” “You wanted to avoid imagining you were with me when you were with them.” He moves closer and says very close to me: “Well, maybe now I want to imagine that I’m with you.” I swallow hard. He looks serious. He’s getting closer and closer and… “Yan” Tracy’s voice echoes through the room even though she is speaking softly, and returns us to our proper positions in the chair. I am totally bewildered again, and this time I think Yan is too. He replies: “I’m here, babyl.” She comes over to where we are. “I want one too.” She blinks at him as she completes: “You’ve made me hungry.” Argh. Now I’ve lost my hunger. And I hate myself a bit more for being jealous of her.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

She sits down in the chair next to him, and he prepares a sandwich for her. I eat it silently, but put a smile on my face to make the mood pleasant and forget the tightness he left between my legs when he said that seconds ago. “Why didn’t you call me Yan?” “You were sleeping so soundly, I wanted to avoid disturbing you.” She comes to him and kisses him. They kiss some more as they laugh, and she sits on his lap. I continue with my sandwich that has just been finished. She laughs, slapping Yan’s hand as she puts the sandwich back on the table. I think he did something under the table that I didn’t notice and don’t care what it was. I just want to get out of here as soon as possible, but as I get up, I remember something important, I’m not as dressed up as I look. Tracy gets up to get more juice from the fridge and offers it to me, which I take the opportunity to say: “No, I think I’m going back to bed now.” As she puts more juice in her glass, I look at Yan and nod. He looks at me confused, I whisper: “I need to go to bed.” He just whispers back: “Good.” He doesn’t seem interested in that,, and I would say he even looks quite angry hearing that. I insist: “Yan.” I point down, only then does he realize what I am talking about. He stands up and grabs Tracy from behind, who laughs and turns to him. They totally ignore that they are about to fall on me, and he says to her: “Let’s go back to the room and finish what we started?” He must be loving talking these things to her while I’m standing here listening. She says: “Again?” They leave the kitchen, and I bet she doesn’t even realize that she’s hardly eaten anything. Yan turns to me and whispers: “You’re welcome.” He blinks and bites back a smile. I roll my eyes. They go to their room. I breathe a sigh of relief. I couldn’t get up or Tracy would see that I was in the kitchen at dawn almost naked with her boyfriend.