A Werewolf, A Vampire, and A Fae Walk Into A Bar (Book 1 of The Last Witch Series)

"AJ, what the damn hell is wrong with you?" I shout, waking Rain who begins to howl at the top of her lungs. I sigh, pull her from her car seat and pop out a breast to stick into her greedy mouth. Michael's eyebrows raise, and he clears his throat. "Um, can someone let me out of these restraints and explain to me what's going on?" He speaks in a very formal and polite tone for a kidnapee. AJ hops down from the counter and saunters over to him. "You know what's going on, Mikey Mike. Why don't you tell Bernie here what you really are?"

He glances at me, then back at AJ, then his shoulders sag. "How did you find out?" he asks.

I nearly choke on my own tongue. "Wait, it's true? You're a... you're a unicorn?"

He nods, not able to maintain eye contact with me.

I switch Rain to my other breast and begin pacing the room while she feeds. "What the hell is going on? Does Rowley have any humans here? Is Joe an ogre and Frank, what is he? A leprechaun?"

No one answers as I vent. I think back to high school, to the giddy days of new lust that felt like love. Michael was unquestionably the best looking guy in the school, with his golden hair and matching eyes, his perfectly tanned skin and sleek muscles. He was on the track team, and won more medals than I can remember. We used to make out under the bleachers when he snuck away from practice. He seemed magical at the time, but a unicorn? That's beyond the scope of what I can handle right now. Though maybe it helps to explain him being such a fast runner.

"Let him go," I command everyone--anyone--in the room.

AJ sighs and goes to release his bonds, but not before glaring at him. "One wrong move and my vamp boy will eat you, got it?"

Michael's eyes widen and he nods his head nervously. I throw a look at AJ, a little annoyed that she's talking tough to the majestic creature she brought here against his will.

I haven't seen Michael since graduation. Last I heard he moved out of town and didn't keep in touch with anyone here. It's the goal for most people growing up in Rowley, and he's one of the few who accomplished it. I bet he's really loving this homecoming party. "So now we're kidnapping people?" I ask. Rain finishes feeding and I hand her to the closest person--Darius. The vampire looks at Rain in confusion, then walks over to the changing table while I try to figure out what to do next.

"It wasn't kidnapping," AJ says, barely containing her laughter. "More like... horsenapping." Now she's literally doubled over in laughter, and as much as I want to be mad, I start to laugh too, because this is just too absurd.

"I'm so... sorry, Michael," I say, as my hysterical laughter escalates. Now I can't control the fits and AJ and I are both doubled over as the guys all watch us warily.

Well, everyone but Darius, who seems to be having some trouble at the changing station. "Is this normal? I think the young human is ill."

I dash over there, worry replacing all other emotions, then my laughter returns when I realize what he's going on about. "Nope, that's just normal newborn poop. Fun, right?

He wrinkles his nose. "It's smelly. And oddly colored and formed."

AJ hoots and slaps her leg. "I can't with these guys. It's too much."

"Listen," Michael says, sidestepping us. "I'm just gonna get going if that's all right."

Darius stands and in a blink has handed the baby off to Rune and is blocking Michael's path to the door. "You may not leave."

Michael looks around nervously as Zev growls under his throat and Rune, who's skillfully getting Rain diapered up and ready for a snooze, watches casually--in the way a cat is casual until it strikes.

"What do you want with me?" Michael asks, giving up and sinking into my new, luxurious couch. "No one knows what I am. I live a quiet life. I don't want to cause trouble."

"We need your blood," Darius says with his whole 'I'm gonna eat you and you'll like it' vibe.

"How much of it?" Michael asks, in an exasperated tone that makes it clear someone--or something--has asked for his blood before.

But Darius, who clearly doesn't like being questioned, hisses, flashing extra pointy teeth. "Who are you to question us? Do you know who we are?"

Oh Lord. "Chill your tits, vamp boy." I step forward and grab Darius by the arm. "You need some serious schooling in how to win friends and influence people."

His ink-dark gaze locks with mine. "I am fully capable of influencing people," he says.

"I mean without voodoo powers," I say. "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

His brows crease in confusion.

"Nevermind. Look, just let me handle this. You and AJ have done quite enough." I focus my attention on Michael, and as I look closely at him for the first time, I realize how ageless he is. Like a model stepping off the cover of a magazine, sculpted from clay and photoshopped to perfection. He's obviously matured since his teenage years, but he hasn't been ravaged by time in the way one would expect. Now I can see it. The supernatural beauty at work in him. "We just need a vial or so," I say. "I'm sorry they brought you in like this. I had no idea they were going to do that. And, to state the obvious, I had no idea you were a unicorn."

He stares at me for some time, the room quiet. "It's good to see you again, Bernie," he says, surprising me. "It's been too long."

"It has," I say, cocking my head.

"I meant to come by... when I heard." He pauses. "I'm sorry. For your loss. But. I didn't know if you'd want to see me after--"

"After you dumped her like the piece of shit you are," AJ says, getting in his face. "You broke her heart, you bastard. She was a wreck for weeks over your pathetic ass."

"For crying out loud, AJ, shut the hell up! That was like ten years ago."

She glances at me, nonplussed, but steps back a fraction. She still looks ready to cut a bitch though.

Michael shrugs sheepishly. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I was worried. We were getting so close and if you found out what I was... I was scared."

"It was a long time ago," I say, and I

know I'll be sitting with this later, worrying over every memory of Michael, reframing the end of my first serious relationship in light of all I've learned. But I'm a big girl now and have too much on my plate to stress about my high school broken heart. "I would be grateful if you could spare some blood though. I know it sounds weird and all but--"

"It's fine," he says as he pulls up his sleeve and holds out his arm. "Take what you need."

"We can't take it from your human form," Rune says, inserting himself into the awkward conversation.

"Right," Michael says. "Um. You'll need to stand back. I don't want to hurt anyone."

I move towards the kitchen to give him room, the realization washing over me that I'm about to watch the first guy I ever slept with turn into a horse.

A unicorn, not a horse.

I glance at Darius, who smirks.

Out of my head, vampire. And excuse me, a unicorn.

But I soon see that the distinction is

an important one. Before my very eyes, Michael begins to glow an

ethereal white. He doesn't orto

and bend out of shape like

Instead, I'm blinded by the light he emanates, and in a flash, he's transitioned from man to a gleaming white unicorn standing in my freaking living room.

"Michael?" I step forward tentatively and hold out my hand to him. He leans his head down and I touch the softness of his mane and let my hand slide over his golden horn tingling pulses up my arm,

magic infusing me, and

Imet

kind of happiness overwhelms me. I smile, soaking up the feeling like it's water and I'm dying of thirst.

Darius clears his throat, rudely interrupting the exchange. "I will extract his blood now."

Rune shakes his head. "I don't think so. You'll contaminate it with centuries-old bacteria. Allow me." Rune produces from some pocket or another a small silver blade and a crystal vial covered in etchings.

I cringe as he slices into Michael's back leg and golden blood drips into the vial.

Once it's full, Rune waves his hand over the wound and mutters a few words in, I don't know, Elvin or some shit, and when he removes his hand, Michael's unicorn flesh is once again unblemished.

"This should be enough," Rune says, studying the glowing golden contents.

Michael nods and, in another blast of light, turns from unicorn to man once more. Unlike Zev, he still has his clothes on, and I try to convince myself I'm not the least bit disappointed by that. But I am curious. "You keep your clothes when you shift?" I ask, totally nonchalantly.

AJ blows my cover by snorting.

Michael grins like he knows what I'm thinking. "Sorry to disappoint. But yes, unlike shifters, my powers are pure magic. My body isn't changing form, my essence is returning to its true nature."

"Right. Sure. Makes perfect sense."

Michael looks around and frowns. "If there's nothing else, I assume I'm free to go?"

The Sexies don't object, and I sigh, assuming that means it's fine. "Let me buy you a drink first. It's the least I can do." I glance at Rune. "Keep an eye on Rain?"Content © NôvelDrama.Org.

He nods, and the other two narrow their eyes like they're jealous, though that can't possibly be true.

Michael and I walk downstairs to the bar, and I pour us both a shot of whiskey. "Cheers," I say.

He downs his drink and I refill, then move to the other side to sit with him.

"I see your apartment's gotten an upgrade," he says.

"Uh, yeah. Those guys, they're kind of a big deal and decided they wanted to live in style while here."

Michael frowns. "They're dangerous, Bernie. I don't really know what's going on, but I've got a bad sense. Be careful with them."

"I know," I say. "It's... complicated."

He chuckles. "It always is with you."

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"Just that life was never easy for you." He pauses. "I hated ending things the way we did, but after your grandmother talked to me, I--"

"Nanny talked to you?" I ask, shocked. "About what? Why?"

"She didn't tell you?"