Silence
Nikolai’s POV
I couldn’t count the number of times I had splashed cold water over my face, but it didn’t take away my red rimmed eyes or the weight on my chest. Frustrated with myself for not having control over my emotions at the moment, I grabbed a face towel and wiped my face with it. My nose was runny as well and I could feel that my eyes were swollen. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt this way.
As I gulped down a cup of water, my mind floated back to Liyah.
Liyah.
Knowing her name now only made me feel worse about everything. Why had I been so full of hate, blinded so deeply by regret that I had become this… inhumane. I wondered what Elle would think if she was here now. If I was this disappointed in myself, then I could imagine just how disappointed she would be in me. I had hurt an innocent woman for weeks, for a crime she didn’t commit.
I buried my head in my hands, letting the pain and regret wash all over me. She had already been going through a lot, why did I have to add to that? I hadn’t been paying attention. Fuck, I
never paid attention. All of this only made me realize how selfish I had become.
Trying my hardest to push the whole thing out of my mind, I washed my face one last time and dried, mindlinking Margaret as I walked out of my bedroom. I braced myself to look into her face as the memory of the last time surfaced. I couldn’t break and show her that the look of disappointment on her face affected me that much.
She arrived at my bedroom in a few seconds. She paused to bow a little and then faced me. “You wanted to see me?”
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “The priso-Liyah,” I corrected. “I need you to take her under your care and make sure she gets better.”
She stared at me as though she expected me to explain more but I said nothing. She would eventually hear it from Drew anyways. I didn’t feel the need to go through all of that again. Casting a strange look at me that thankfully did not have a trace of judgement in it, she bowed and exited the room. And I released the breath I hadn’t known I was holding.
Mindlinking Drew to gather the pack members together, I walked downstairs to where they were already assembled. They quieted down when they saw me approaching. For some reason I felt different this time, like they could all see through me. I wondered how many of them already knew about what had happened, and what they possibly thought about me.
I clenched my fists. Why the fuck was I thinking about all of this? Feeling this way? It didn’t matter and I didn’t give two fucks about what they thought. I needed to get a fucking hold on myself. I was acting like I’d forgotten the fact that I was the alpha. No one could hurt me, speak up against me nor challenge me. Not a single soul here. I was in charge and would be for a very long time.
I straightened up and went straight to the point. “The prisoner, who will now be addressed by her true name, Liyah, is from this moment on no longer a prisoner.”
There was a deafening silence.
I continued. “She is now a free woman and will remain so forever. She is free to live, and to leave if and when she so wishes. And if she decides to remain here, she will hereby be known and welcomed as a member of the Selene pack.”
I saw Drew cock an eyebrow in surprise and then look away. I swallowed, not quite understanding why I was so hurt by that. Turning back to the pack members, I waved them away. They gave a collective bow and quickly filed out.
When the room was clear except for Drew and Annalise, I saw Annalise walk up to where I stood, a furious look on her face.
“Annie,” Drew called out in a warning tone, hot on her heels. But she didn’t stop. When she got to where I stood, she stared me down for a few seconds and then she shook her head.
“You know for a minute I thought you were changing, getting better. I saw you start to talk more, smile more… and this was when you started to go on those business trips and parties with the priso-Liyah. It was a good improvement. And for one second I thought I was getting my cousin and best friend back. But of course,” She let out a bitter laugh.
“Of course I’d been wrong. I had no idea that it was just the beginning of the worst part of you to surface.”
“Annie,” Drew placed a hand on her arm.
She whipped around. “No! I need to get this off my chest, okay?”
Drew let out a tired sigh, running his fingers through his hair.
She faced me once more. “How could you?! How? Why? I don’t understand… I don’t understand any of it. How did you get here? And you think declaring her free is somehow going to erase everything you did and show you off as the good guy? That’s the best you can do?”
I felt anger begin to flow through me. “I do not owe any of you an expla-”
“Yeah of course. The only person you ever owe anything to is yourself right? We got it.”
I stood still in shock at being cut off.
“You took advantage of that poor girl when you very well knew that there was no way in hell she could fight you off! She was weak and defenceless and you hurt her over and over again, Nikolai, and you don’t feel even a tiny bit of remorse, you fucking coward?!!”
Drew quickly pulled her towards him and dragged her away as she attempted to launch at my neck, her nails missing the surface of my face by a hair’s breadth. I watched her struggle in Drew’s grip to no avail.
“I have no idea who you are anymore? Who the fuck are you?!”
“Silence!” I roared, knowingly and unapologetically using the Alpha command on her. I watched her quiet down almost immediately. “Out of my sight!”
The last thing I saw before turning away was the look of disbelief on Drew’s face.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.